...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
