so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
