I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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