come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
