I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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