I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
