I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
