I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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