What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
