I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
