How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
