Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
