Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
