So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
