If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
