i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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