Your face is a jimmy john
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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