It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
