3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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