glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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