this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
