My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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