Pregnant stripper...not hot.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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