I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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