9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He shit in the fireplace
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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