I hate all girls vehemently.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize