Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Randomize
