Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
