Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
