Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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