i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
