Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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