I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
