he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
