You just made me feel so damn special
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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