we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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