More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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