You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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