you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
