hotel room ftw
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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