when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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