so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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