If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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