my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
