I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You did what with his pubic hair?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
