the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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