I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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