Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
