we should wear snuggies to the strip club
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
