We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
