oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
