I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My balls are so social today.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
