how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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