Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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