i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
